The Rebecca Frederick Chronicles Part I

The Rebecca Frederick Chronicles

“The Elevator”

By Nicholas Rehfeldt

The school is in lock down… That’s what my cell phone said, and I know why. It’s because I just met the most annoying prick in the elevator just now….

“Just now” was forty minutes ago. I was aggravated, just by the notion of having to attend classes at my college. There’s no parking and the new school building is half way across campus from said parking lot. Worst of all, in the back of my mind, I was sure my car was going to get ticketed because I parked on the grass.

But the absolute worst? I mean the thing that was grinding my gears at that very minute? ‘Was waiting for that fucking elevator. It had been two minutes since I called for it, and I was actively crumbling my half filled soda can with rage.

Keep calm, Becca. I thought to myself, No need to go into a blood lust rage. Not here. Just keep calm and navigate through your day. Think of home. Think of Mom. Think of that cigarette and glass of rum you’re going to treat yourself to tonight. Think of anything, but DO NOT think about grabbing the head of that political science major to your right and smashing it into the concrete wall.

One of the two elevators open, it was signaling that it was going down to the ground floor but I didn’t care. I walked in and press the 3rd floor button and pressed up against the wall as the sheeple filed in behind me.

“It’s going down.” says the effeminate male voice to my left. He’s a hipster, and I’m in no mood to deal with hipsters.

“Well that’s the thing about elevators… They go down and up!” I snarl at him.

He didn’t say anything. He just scoffed. Or was it a scoff? It could have been a sigh… Perhaps a groan? Oh, Hell, I don’t know but it set me off.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Are we annoying you by not abiding to your arbitrary silly elevator rules?” I snapped. The audience of 8 or so of our peers stared at me disapprovingly. They were all giving me that non-verbal cue that they weren’t with me.

“You’ll get to your precious fucking ground floor before I get to the third, so fuck you!” I finished.

“Well…” He rolls his eyes “I have a AV cart here, and you’re all going to have to move your precious little behinds so I can get out. So technically, yes, you are unconvincing me and this girl here.” He shot back at me “This is why you follow the rules, so you don’t hinder innocent people with better things to do.”

I stared at him hard for a moment. His wallet probably had a hundred dollars in it. The bitch next to him was wearing this awfully pretty white fur coat. I pressed the emergency stop button. Curses and questions abound, and I recall feeling bad for the innocent ones.

But, hey, wrong place wrong time, right?

I hit the enchanted gizmo on my wrist, the magical inference caused the lights to flicker.

“Sorry Mom.” I said under my breath as I grabbed the first girl in front of me. I placed my hand over her face and crushed it and felt it explode in my hands like an orange. A fine red mist sprayed in every direction, and everyone started to scream but there was no where to run. I went down the line, squeezing and crushing… The girl in the white coat made an admirable attempt to get away, pleading to a higher power “No! Nononono!“ before I got my claws into her. Then finally, it was just me and him.

He was petrified. “P-P-Please!” He stuttered. I smiled at him.

“Couldn’t just let me ride the fucking elevator in peace?” I ask, and I grabbed his testicles. He screamed, hollering like a new born baby. He fell down in a slump, crying in pain. I wanted him dead, so I caved his skull in with my steel toed boot.

He only had twenty-five dollars in his wallet. The coat was nice though, a quick spell cleansed it and me of all the blood. The hallways were empty when I left the elevator, and I skipped merrily to my class and took my seat. The girl next to me complimented me on my new coat, and I coyly told her I just got it.

But my mood was quickly shattered. A campus text message announcing the school was in lock down. What an pain in the neck. Next time? I’ll take the stairs.

END.

Biden Is Always Angry, His Smile Is A Mask, He Must BE BATMAN!

Some memes I made tonight…

The #SaneAmongInsane Show Presents… “State Of The Union”

In which our hero breaks the fourth wall and tells everyone whats going on behind the scenes…

The #SaneAmongInsaneShow, Ep. 2 “A Moment To Talk About The Lord.”

 In which our hero solemnly prepares for battle against Anonymous. Vin The Tech Guy hangs SaneAmongInsane out to dry, and Anonymous’ hordes attack in full deadly force.

Featuring A Review Of: WWE Mondsy Night RAW 8/13/12

RAWtopsy: Another Take On RAW for 8/6/12

NOTE: The following analysis was written as a counter argument to the one I presented
in this weeks episode of “The #SaneAmongInsane Show.”
That episode may be viewed HERE!
RAWtopsy: Another Take On RAW for 8/6/12

Now that 24 hours has since passed from my video rant, I’ve reconsidered my position on some of the more absurd natures of this weeks RAW… For those of you who don’t know, I was frankly annoyed by Sheamus stealing Alberto Del Rio’s car on live TV as well as Brock Lesnar threatening a non-WWE contracted worker.

Here’s the thing: I’m a bit of an asshole when it comes to fiction. A picker and chooser, if you will. I dislike watching a movie like Harry Potter because I feel magic is too unrealistic, but then again I love Batman. Just the same in wrestling, I can look at finisher like say The Canadian Destroyer…. Continue reading

The #SaneAmongInsaneShow, Ep. 1 “#SockPerson”

The story of one blogger taking on the internet. In this episode SaneAmongInsane, now a drunken mess over the grief of losing his YouTube channel, hires an assistant that he can drunkenly berate. All seems well until a foreboding message is left on the back drop. Featuring a review of: WWE Monday Night RAW 8/6/12

“Dear MrStickTV1,

WWE has reviewed your dispute and released its copyright claim on your video, “WWE Monday Night Raw Review for 7/30/12 YOUTUBE CENSORED EDITION!!!!“. For more information, please visit your Copyright Notice page

Sincerely,
- The YouTube Team”

Well whoop-de-fucking-do.

-Nicholas “SAI” Rehfeldt

The Decision To Turn Heel…

Sometimes, a door closing isn’t a bad thing. It’s an opportunity to do something even better than what you had planned. I’ve only been filming these episodes for a month, getting a feel for the camera and the editing program. My first couple attempts… well it be flattering to say it at least looked like an attempt, it was horrible…. But in any endeavor the 1st batch of attempts are terrible. It was also very difficult.

A lot of the shit that made me cringe, that I hated was my hammy acting and over positivity. It’s clearly fake and that’s clearly not how I act in real life, and it shows through… Still I was going with that angle because I was making an attempt to try to do the whole “internet reviewer” thing differently.

Continue reading

RAWality TV: Hurricane SaneAmongInsane Promo

In which our hero turns on the audience and attacks everything we hold dear…

NOTE: This Is “IN CHARACTER”

Really wish I didn’t have to put a disclaimer like that but some people are morons.

In which our hero murders the Suburban Whiteboy character, and calls out one of the pioneers of “Internet Reviewing Personalities” for the sake of establishing his own brand.

WARNING: Because I’m not an idiot and am aware of the possible hornets nest I just kick, let me stress that this is a work. A gimmick. A publicity stunt. I like ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com as much as anyone. I’m just trying to rattle cages to get attention. -SAI

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